You know the saying, "When it rains, it pours..." Well it poured all over me this weekend. Bad news, that is. Not about the book, but about virutually everything else. Suffice it to say, our world could be changing dramatically over the next 7 months or so. I don't want to get into details here, but that change could include a move to a new city, though I am hoping that does not happen.
When I got the worst of the news, it was a very strange feeling. What I would imagine it is like when you are free-falling after jumping out of an airplane: hovering weightless over the clouds, all the breath snatched away from you for a moment, but no pain. Just being. Though this could be devastating, I think the change that is about to happen could be a very good thing, and I'm going to believe in that. It's really the only thing to do.
So, I know that I will not be teaching next year. I'm hoping that my book will be in the process of publication by fall. I'm praying that we will find our way to an excitingly good situation. I know this mess will all blow over, but I'm ready for a storm of good news to balance the typhoon of bad news we just encountered over the weekend.
There is no wisdom in this post, just endless hope.
Let it rain...
I saw your post on Verla's -- so sorry things are crazy! If you happen to have to move to Western NY, I know a YA/MG critique group you can join! :) Hang in there, and here's hoping for good news on your book soon!
ReplyDeleteDeena
Mary Ann,
ReplyDeleteWow - I hadn't checked in here in a while and then see this - I wish you the best of luck and hope that storm of good news comes at the right time. Whatever happens, you will be stronger for it and you will find where you need to be and who knows, moving means you could have more writing time and get more stories out there. Anyway - I say go for it and remember it's not a door closed, it's a window (of opportunity) opened. Hang in there - be strong - E :)
Will you be heading to SD? :-D
ReplyDeleteI'll keep your family in my thoughts as you make this transition.
I'll be anxious to hear how things go, Mary Ann! I'll be thinking of you~
ReplyDeleteOk, girl - I promise to call you soon so we can go out. We will be away this weekend, but maybe early next week I'll try to call, k?
ReplyDeleteYou are in my thoughts!
This too shall pass, as somebody once said. I'm sure lots of good things are around the corner for you and your family
ReplyDelete.
Stella
I just read this post and also the one from Sept. 23 (Dying to Start the Next Book...)
ReplyDeleteWow! A few years ago I was right where you are. I was teaching school and grieving the fact that I wasn't writing. Some days I loved my job and other days I just didn't.
After 2 years of teaching and feeling I was too old to get back into it I signed up for the writer's conference at Chautauqua. I felt like I'd come home again and began getting up early before school that fall to write. But school took over that early hour too. It was the darkest year for me. I was always running to keep up at school and feeling I could never do a good enough job.
I started BLUE that fall and somehow North Carolina had a zillion snow days that school year (highly unusual.) I wrote BLUE on snowdays and weekends. It was the thing that made me happy.
That happiness contrasted with the strains of the job made me realize I didn't want to teach anymore. (There were other issues too but still...)
Anyway I left teaching. I wrote. I published. I can't imagine how long it will take me to earn my teaching salary and maybe I won't ever get back the wages I gave up in the interim. BUT I am so happy!
What is it the Mother Superior said to Maria Von Trapp in The Sound of Music? When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window? (Something like that!)
I pray for a window with a whole new view! (My fingers are crossed for you and Patti G.)
{{Hugs}}
ReplyDeleteLinda
Thanks for your kind words, everyone. As the intial shock and fear begin to settle, hope is streaming in, albeit still laced with intense guilt. I've decided to leave my job at Christmas, but still have the miserable duty of officially presenting this information to the council. I don't know what we'll do financially, but somehow we'll get through this school year.
ReplyDeleteAisha, don't know if we'll head west towards SD, but there are more positions open than the first time DH was looking for an academic job. Maybe Rochester, NY (wouldn't that be a riot--my book is set in Rochester!)
Joyce, I read your post just before going to bed, and it meant the world to me. Thanks for sharing a piece of your journey here. And thanks for sharing your wisdom at the Fall Philly.
I've been in bed all day, sick with whatever bug has been going around school. But of course getting a substitute for tomorrow would be more work than going in and teaching. But, I am feeling better about our prospects and the decisions we have to make. So thanks again for the cyberhugs and prayers.