Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Still working it...

So I have yet to finish going over my MS before sending it to Blooming Tree Press. I hope my delay does not quash their interest. It's been so difficult to get it where I want it while I'm winding down my teaching. But there we are--a new 3rd grade teacher has been hired and next friday, the 21st, will be my last day as a third grade teacher. After the Thanksgiving holiday, I had some energy...for a few days--and thought "Am I just a wimp?" But it did not take long before the fatigue took over my body again and my feet began to hurt and other RA symptoms crept up. So that's it. If I could work one day a week, I would probably be able to do it, but of course that ain't gonna happen!

I'm glad they were able to find a replacement so quickly. She will be great, and she is a familiar face to everyone. She has been working as a support teacher for the middle school, so she knows the Waldorf ropes. But as I got the final word tonight, I found myself a jumble of emotions. I have to fight that feeling that I am a failure and try not to dwell on such thoughts. I am incredibly sad to be leaving these kids. As challenging as some of them are, I've grown to love them all so much. I am relieved that a good person will be taking them forward.

We are still waiting to see where DH will be next. Worried that the academic career is over (though I really don't think that will happen). Hoping we don't end up in the tundra somewhere!

Anyway, I'll press on and hope that this book finds a home and I get a real start in publishing soon. And I'll keep thinking positive for the whole job search and future plans. Now I think I'll go have a glass of wine and a good cry...then I'll be fine!


  1. Keeping you all in my prayers.

    BTW ... you are not a failure. Your drive to get your manuscript written, combined with all you do for your family, is what I consider very far from "failure."

  2. Hang in there, Mary Ann. I'm convinced that all these bad experiences make you a stronger person. That's what I've had to tell myself this year. How is the manuscript coming? Did you get it out? Good luck with it!


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